My Religion and First Break Up

Again, this has been a completely unacceptable long period since my last post but I had a lot of drama I needed to deal with. Back on board this time guys :)

Not too many weeks after Edan had come to see me I noticed him becoming distant. He also spoke of discussing my religion with a co-worker and how this co-worker had told him that I was a bad person and used tools of the devil. These stupid tales of ignorance turned my boyfriend into a born again Christian, quite possibly the worst kinds of Christian. Edan claimed his friend got this information because of a dream of Edan in a white boarded house which meant he knew somebody using evil. For the record, Wicca is not evil nor any relation to the devil, nor does dreaming of a white boarded house have anything to do with Satan and his followers. I learnt this because Google is my friend. I was absolutely petrified of losing Edan, so much so that I foolishly told him I had given up my faith as a Wiccan so I could be with him. Still, he continued to be distant. I could smell a break up coming, but I wanted to leave my first relationship with my dignity so I told him it was over. I can't think of a time where I have stood up for myself and honoured myself more. I was also heartbroken. He said that it wasn't what he wanted, but it was obviously a lie. He was just too scared to do it himself. I still count it as him breaking up with me given how he was acting - the same every man does before they leave a girl. The calls are quieter, the text messages less frequent, and the poor excuse of "oh I just don't have much to say..."
I just had to beat him to it.
I now had another problem. In pretending to give up my faith, I felt like I actually had. I was very confused about what I did believe. It plagued my mind during school and I sheepishly had to ask the librarian if I could use the chapel. I got a raised eyebrow and was questioned why I wanted to go, as there had been many sightings of lesbians making out there. under my breath I said "Sir, I'm having a crisis of faith..." he quickly opened the door for myself and my friend. We lay there quietly, heads on fluffy pillows, looking at the ceiling of the school chapel. I felt very tranqil, though had no idea what I was hoping to find. I think it was the first time I had sat back and really thought about "the big picture". What did I believe anymore?
For the record, I did manage to find my faith again after a few months in the religion I truly belong to; Wicca. The moral of the story is never give up your faith, or any part of who you are for a man. To some it is a very obvious answer, to others, perhaps not. But in the end no man is worth questioning your own identity over.


-Endrin-